A Season For Everything

August 7, 2018

"He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man's heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end. I perceived that there is nothing better for them than to be joyful and to do good as long as they live;" ~ Ecclesiastes 3:11-12

“Did you manage to participate without volunteering?” It wasn’t his first question, but it was his second.  (Did you have fun? was first)  He knows how often I say yes.  Maybe he doesn’t realize how often I say no!  There are a lot of needs in the world.  One of the things I am often asked as I counsel others is how to say no.  Ironic.  But I suppose I have a great deal of empathy for those who struggle to say no.  I’ve had to learn the skill.  I’ve had to also learn the healthy work of not feeling guilty when I say no.  I’ve had to learn my ‘why’.  Why I say yes.  Why I say no.  Then it is easier to judge to what and when to say yes.

So how does not serving end up in a blog about service?  Because we can’t do it all. 

But that’s not to say that the event was purpose-less.  And maybe that’s clearer when you attach the aforementioned “why.”  Why am I here?  Why did I choose to show up for this event?

I was at the bowling alley with my youngest son.  As a child with Down Syndrome, he is eligible to participate with a wonderful group called The Dream Program.  They find community activities for kids and adults with special needs: bowling, football, canoeing, basketball, horse-back riding, painting…it’s pretty incredible!  I registered him online, we showed up at the bowling alley, and some very friendly people gave us a spot on their lane.  By total coincidence he ended up on a lane next to his best buddy from school.  So the night went really well.  We were asked if we wanted to sign up for the other activities, but we declined.  Just bowling for now.

Over the years I have volunteered among this community.  I’ve participated in Buddy Walk.  I assisted with the start-up of a LLC to provide necessary therapies to special needs children without the ability to pay for them.  I’ve served on the Mississippi United Methodist Disability Ministries committee.  In each case, I said ‘yes’ to someone’s request to help, to serve, to lend a hand.  Sometimes the work was simple, and sometimes it was overwhelming.  In every case, I have closed the folders on those opportunities.

Why?

That’s the right question!

Am I passionate about programs and ministries that advocate for individuals with special needs?  Uhm.  Yes.  Am I well-positioned to articulate the unique needs a family has when living with a disabled family members?      
So. Much. To. Say.     
So why is this not an area of service for me right now?

Well, the answer to my question, “why am I here,” is a good start.  I’m here to be his mom.  Some days I’m an advocate.  Some days I’m a counselor.  Some days I’m a voice crying out.  But on this day he just wants me to sit beside him at the little table next to the lane and buy him chicken nuggets from the café. 

Some days it’s ok to receive from the heroes and servants in the community.  I don’t really know the personal “why” for all the people who helped us bowl this week.  I can guess.  Maybe one day I’ll ask.  But for now I’m just going to remind him to roll, not throw, the bowling ball…and get more ketchup. 

If you love someone with special needs and would like to know more about advocacy groups, here are a few links:
Gulf Coast Down Syndrome Society
The Dream Program
The Arc of Mississippi
Bright Beginnings: A First Steps Partner
DisAbility Ministries Committee of the United Methodist Church
Abbie Rogers Civitan Camp